My boyfriend is really into Reddit and he knows that I love Lolita fashion, so he suggested I check out the Lolita side of Reddit. It seemed like an amazing idea. Well, it was anything but wonderful and amazing.
The first discussion I started reading had to do with what’s acceptable in Lolita fashion and what to stay away from. I wasn’t expecting people to be so uptight about rules of regulations of a Japanese based fashion. Your skirt can’t be above the knee. If you have a large bust you have to wear a minimizer bra. You have to wear tights. Your clothes have to be brand name. You have to wear a wig. And the list goes on and on. I can agree with the general rules of Lolita like being modest and matching, but I’m sorry I’m not going to modify my interests in Lolita fashion just because I’m supposedly wrong. It just makes me so angry when someone has a passion for Lolita fashion and others shoot them down because it’s “incorrect.” Some of the topics were people showing off their first Lolita chords. The ones I thought were amazing, were the ones that the Snob Lolitas (my name for stuck up Lolitas) were saying weren’t Lolita at all.
I know a lot of Lolitas (most of the ones Reddit were like this) do not consider something Lolita if it’s not from a Lolita brand or if it was originally for cosplay/maid purposes. Yes there is a difference between maid outfits and Lolita, but you can theme a Lolita outfit around a maid costume. I’ve seen plenty of cosplay dresses that when paired with other things looks genuinely Lolita. This page has a list of Lolita outfits that are considered taboo for a lot of Lolitas: http://hellolace.net/styles/misc. Some of these styles are cosplay based but that in no way makes them not Lolita! One of my favorite styles of Lolita is Guro Lolita, a gore/horror based style. It’s considered more of a costume or Halloween style and is shunned upon for everyday wear. But how you wear Lolita should be up to you, not some silly rules people came up with. As long as you follow general rules of being modest, getting the shape of the dress (usually poofy skirts with petticoats), and matching your personality to the style you should be allowed to dress it up how you want.
On Reddit I also saw a ton of men discussions about dresses. Like men wearing Lolita dresses. To me it’s weird but if I can’t tell you’re a man, I’m fine with it. If you look very masculine I don’t think you should go for Lolita, especially Sweet styles. But that’s just my opinion. If you want to go for it, go for it! My problem was that people were saying it’s fine to be a man wearing Lolita dresses but curvy, busty, or darker skinned girls shouldn’t. I’m not joking. There was a whole discussion over busty/curvy girls needing to bind their breasts to appear more “doll” or “little girl” like. So it’s wrong to have curves in Lolita but okay to be a man? If we’re going to promote equality it should be for everyone, not just certain groups.
I’ve seen these things on more than just Reddit though, it just seemed to be worse there. I’ve seen pages where they shun girls who don’t have pale skin or are overweight. On Reddit there were a few discussions I saw written by overweight or curvy women who were asking if it’s okay for them to get into Lolita fashion. Some of the replies were saying they need to lose some weight first or wear certain styles to hide curves and appear smaller. As someone who is on the curvy/busty side, I felt pretty offended. So because I have larger breasts I shouldn’t wear a dress I feel good in? I should try my best to hide my size? Hell no I’m not doing that!
Pros of Lolita Reddit:
- Good for getting general knowledge
- You can find discussions on online stores
- Tell other people what you think
- Honest (sometimes brutal) feedback
- You can promote your own Lolita shop
- There are trade/sell/buy topics
Cons of Lolita Reddit:
- If you’re new to Lolita you might feel overwhelmed with the rules
- If your chords are not 100% Lolita, you’re wrong
- If you buy off brand Lolita you will get told to buy better clothes
- Most people are close minded
- Not much creativity
- If you don’t wear Lolita most of the time you’re not a real Lolita
- If you say Lolita fashion is cosplay, you’re dead
- Casual Lolita does not exist
- The only acceptable styles are: Sweet, Classic, and Gothic
- Sub-category Lolita styles are wrong
I think that’s pretty much all for this post. Hope you enjoyed it and learned something. If you want to see the Reddit Lolita site for yourself here’s the link: http://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita. I suppose it’s not all that bad, a lot of the things people said just made me cringe.